I honestly have no idea how to start this. I just want to run around in circles and scream. This is not in the order of the gigs or anything like that, but I have to write this down because I feel like I’m going to explode. I met Adam fucking Lambert.
Okay so, breathe. Let’s take this somewhat from the beginning. I’d been discussing with friends when it was likely he was going to be in Stockholm (as it was confirmed by Shoshanna that he was indeed coming to Sweden for promo) and had some ideas. Those ideas – all wrong! Haha! Warner announced a competition for a M&G directly at the start of the EU promo, and I was legit DYING. I HAD to win this. Whatever it took. Adam was going to be in my country, in my capital, and I had a shot at meeting him. If you follow me on twitter, you probably saw my entry into this competition (and my death when I found out about it) If not, here’s a link to my motivation. Naturally, I took this more seriously than anything else I’ve ever done in my life and wrote approximately 10x longer than anyone else that entered. Because this is what I do. I also booked train tickets to Stockholm because – this was my shot. I was doing whatever it took, no matter if I won or not, to meet him. That gamble? It would come to pay off.
So, I wrote that. And you know what? I won the fucking competition. I think my reaction was heard to outer Mongolia or something similar, I fucking died. Honest to god fucking died. I still can’t believe that I won, even though the event is all over and shit. Things like that don’t happen to me. They don’t. But they did. I was actually, officially, meeting Adam.
Monday morning, the day before the actual event, I got on a train to Stockholm. It’s a somewhat long journey for me, so I had plenty of time to freak out with Emke and plan my trip to the airport. And yes, I know this has been debated on blog comments etc. You know what? I had a guess on which flight he could be on, hoped, and sat at that airport for a long, long while. I had nothing but guesses about anything, but I had a will to meet him no matter what and sitting at that airport was part of that. You can say whatever you want. It’s an open, public space.
But now I’m getting ahead of myself. When I got to Stockholm I had a little walk, went past the venue of the following day (the gorgeous Oscarteatern in central Stockholm) and left my bag at my hotel. Nervous like hell, I decided to just go to the airport instead of walking around in my rainy capital. Less than an hour later, I was there.
I started off with walking between terminals to find out how long it would take me to run if I needed to (as a few possible flights came in sort of close to each other), as well as check how long it took for everyone to get off the plane, approximately. Then I waited. And waited. And waited.
I couldn’t eat, way too nervous. The staff in the café in that small terminal must have thought I was insane just sitting around for 7 hours, but it was so worth it. Because what felt like an eternity and no-time-at-all later, I stood there waiting for the flight he was most probably gonna be on. I spotted some people that I suspected had to do with him, and started shaking as the flight landed.
And proceeded to do so for the next 45min or so, as he was the last one off the plane. (at which point it was just me and two other people – the ones officially waiting for Adam, left in the entire terminal, LMAO)
And then… he was there. I still can’t actually understand that it happened. That I met him. It’s not something I will ever fully process or understand or accept, somehow. It went something like this;
Adam (with his manager) : *walks out of arrival doors*
Me: *forgets everything I’ve ever learned about languages or words in my life* *takes a step forward and kinda flails and makes a weak “Adam” sound*
His manager: “Hi, are you *insert Warner person name*
Me: *flails at person behind me* No I’m… omg omg
Adam: *gets the situation* Hi!
Me: *shakes even more* omg hi hi
Adam: Do you wanna take a picture?
Me: Yeah YES thank you omg so I know this is real
Me: *gets phone up* *Shakes like CRAZY*
Adam: *takes a hold of my FUCKING ARM and raises it so that we get a better angle and steadier photo*
Me: *dies and takes photo*
Me: OMG thank you so so much I’m sorry I’m freaking out so fucking much
Adam: Awww are you okay?
Me: *extremely shakily* Y-yes I’m okay now
Adam: Awwww gimme a hug!
Me: *actually legit dies because I get to hug Adam*
Me: Thank you so so much omg
Adam: Aww no worries, see you!
Me: Y-yes see you tomorrow actually, I won the thing??
Adam: Awww great, see you then!
Me: Yes see you then, bye!
I then let him go as he’d had a long flight and I’d had my moment. It was literally about 30 seconds or something, but the moment he disappeared into the elevator my knees actually gave out and I had no feeling in my arms – a complete system death as far as I’m conserned. I tweeted and texted a few people, and then had to sit down and try to breathe a little bit because I feared I was going to pass out. I met Adam. I actually met ADAM. I don’t even have words to describe how much it means to me. I got to meet the man that I thank my life for. Without him I really wouldn’t be the guy I am today, and probably not be around at all.
Okay, so, somehow I gotta continue this because I’m not done. I still had that official thing!? Like, JFC, how was this my life. I got back to my hotel, called my mom (who thought I was slightly insane but was also really happy for me) and tried to somehow sort my emotions out. Decided to go for an evening walk to think better and get some fresh air. (Later found out that Adam went for a walk at approximately the same time and I was minutes away from running into him, but it’s okay, I’m happy he got to enjoy my capital without having to call the ambulance because of crazy fans like me)
I went to sleep late that night, feeling a lot of turmoil and not knowing how I was going to cope with anything the following day.
I went up early, had a shower, packed my things and checked out, and made my way to my friend Sebastian’s place. Ideally I would have brought my best friend for life, My, with me (she went with me to Denmark and later also Sheffield, and has since then became a massive Glambert) but she was stuck with work. I had her letter however, and stuck that in Seb’s hands pretty much immediately. “Here, you take care of this, I’m going to die and not be able to do anything”. Sebastian is a dear friend of mine (and actually my ex) and he was simply a pretty clear choice in who-to-bring. After all, he does like Adam and he’s been putting up with me for like 8 years or something.
I wrote a letter, just trying to shortly put into words a few things I know I’d never be able to say to Adam directly. We also got ready. I did look great at that point, but it would pretty soon be ruined. Ah well.
The bus was late – driving my nerves up to the point where I thought I was going to puke, but Seb was a rock. We arrived at the venue and I jumped right in to a couple of friends – who all seemed somewhat calm in comparison to my hysteria. But yeah, nothing could calm me down.
Eventually we got in, got checked in with names and all, had to leave our phones and got lead up to a small hall for the listening party. At this point my stomach was turning, and the food (that I couldn’t eat anyway, vegan and all) did not get my attention at all. As if I could eat!?
I said a tentative hi to the warner girl from the day before who at least smiled at me (phew) and then proceeded to actually DIE when we got to hear new songs. Most of the other people seemed to enjoy it sort of in the background, eating and chatting away, while I was clinging to a table and shaking like a leaf. Smooth, Alex.
I somehow survived that, and we got downstairs again and got our phones back. Then we were let into the theathre. Which is, A) tiny as fuck B) seated really close to the stage. I took a seat at the second row, less than a meter from the stage, and stared up at the massive display of the album cover and the two small chairs set up. Oh god. The guy next to me then turned to me and said “there he is” and pointed to the side of the stage, where we could see Adam waiting, and I think at that point my body started full-on shaking all over.
Then he was there. On that stage, all smiles and gorgeous despite being jet lagged and having visited radio stations early that morning. I had my hands up over my mouth the entire 50min that interview went on, shaking like a fucking leaf and not being able to tear my eyes off him. He has an incredible energy about him, as I’ve noted in some of the gig recaps, and it’s amazing how strong it is even though he’s just sitting down for a chat. The interview itself was actually really good and in-depth, and I’m so so happy to have witnessed it live.
After that, he stayed at the stage for a few minutes and signed some things for the people in the front row. We were at that point already running a lot over time, but I hung around a little bit as well, I couldn’t leave, although I knew I was seeing him for M&G a few minutes later. As I was trying to process this, having him a meter in front of me, on his fucking knees, he looked up, gave me a smile of recognition and said “Hi!” My knees gave out.
We were pushed out and had to wait a little bit in the reception for them to sort out where they wanted to take the picture. At this point reality started to sink in a fraction, and my shaking and freaking out turned into I-can’t-walk-by-myself and crying floods. Smooth as ever, I was the only one freaking out so profoundly. Way to go, Alexander.
Even the Warner employees were a little bit worried at that point, told me to go last and asked me if I was okay. I managed to choke out that I really wasn’t, but that it was all amazing.
We got to go up again, for better lightning, and line up. I stayed back, crying hysterically and trying to just breathe enough to not pass out. And then somehow, time passed and it was my turn.
Now, I gotta take a second to give Sebastian some cred here, because he did an amazing job in pushing me into Adam, getting bags and whatnot out of the way, getting the link for the photo, give the letters to Adam and take care of me. As for me? All my attention was directed at Adam.
Fucking Adam. Smiling, looking gorgeous as I can’t even describe in person and just… GAAH!!! He commented that “today is not like the airport!” (probably meaning my outfit being a lot better or just generally to recognize me, fuck it if I know), I got another hug (and he smelt really good? Awesome choice of cologne, whatever it was), we took the M&G photo and I asked him to sign my setlists that I’d brought.
He happily did so, and I could feel my knees start to give out as I realized that time was running out. He gave the setlists back to me, and I looked into his eyes (fucking kill me) and managed to choke out “Thank you, thank you for everything.”
Afterwards, I had to be held up, hugged and led out of there. I continued to cry and shake for a long, long while afterwards, earning me a few strange looks out on the street in Stockholm. Whatever. To this day, almost 2 weeks later, I still haven’t fully understood that it happened. I met Adam. Both on a M&G and all by myself. I got to hug him twice. I got to thank him while looking into his eyes, although I don’t know if he understands how much meaning really was behind all that, and I got to give him my letter saying all those things that I couldn’t say. He knows I exist for real now. He knows I commited enough to be at that airport by myself. He knows. And it means everything to me. I got to meet him. I really did.
Adam, if you by any chance happen to read this; Thank you. For everything.